there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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