but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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