She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm too high and old for this...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
