We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
