morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
