508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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