Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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