I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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