She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
