is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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