We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
