I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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