Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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