I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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