Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
