I can tuck mytits in my pants
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
