I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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