omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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