I want to stick my p in your. b.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
