I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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