clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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