were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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