shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you win again, gameday.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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