omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
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I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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