So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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