Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
