Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
