even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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