I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I bet he comes in French.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
