And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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