i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize