Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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