Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize