i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
