He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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