It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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