At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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