oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize
