Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
