Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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