no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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