I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Still dying that you shit outside
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
