Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
