I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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