i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
