I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
