Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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