we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
