if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
