so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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