There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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