u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
