Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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