I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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