In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
