So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
