omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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