I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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