Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
