That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
