i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
