I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize